Did I ever tell you the story about the Gopher and the Ghost?

Time constraints aside, the Gopher knew the stigmas attached to being a Ghost.  Self-creation aside, the Ghost contemplated and cowered.  A drip of empathy dilated Gopher's heart and he became "a cause".  He approached Ghost and said, "I see the way you are treated and it's an absolute shame, shame, shame.  You are not ugly, stupid, or vile.  Please let me help you."  "Would you?  I'd be most indebted to you," croaked Ghost.  So, Gopher threw a burlap sack roughly strewn with black and white stripes, and declared, "Now you're a zebra!"  Ghost flew out into the sun.  Glimmering, gleaming, gluttonous sunshine.  And the wind smelled of petrichor accompanied by concrete.  Bakeries blew out magic and shops exploded with possibility.  But, after a while, Ghost became dizzy from the reflections and noise.  He couldn't stand the sight of another pastry or plaything.  He wanted to go home and began the arduous walk, up the mountain, down the valley and into bog, that led to his humble house.  Head slumped over, exhausted from so much excitement, he shuffled along till he saw a shadow lurching in front of him.  Ghost snapped straight as a pea pod to see Gopher blocking his path.  "What, my generosity isn't good enough for you?  I give you a perfect disguise - no one knows what you really are, and what would they do if they did? - and you throw it away.  Waste it.  Sulking your way back down to grief and despair."  Ghost instantly turned around and marched himself right back into the thick of town where he wallowed and wallows to this day.  Ghost was granted what is now called 'means', and Gopher developed what is now called 'charity'.  And the symbiosis between the two continues to our current times.

- Spody Ody